{"id":299,"date":"2017-11-07T00:05:32","date_gmt":"2017-11-07T00:05:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/?p=299"},"modified":"2017-11-07T00:05:32","modified_gmt":"2017-11-07T00:05:32","slug":"rough-weekend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/?p=299","title":{"rendered":"Rough weekend"},"content":{"rendered":"

This was a rough weekend. I was at work for most of it, and we have sick clients, burned out staff, and the two are a brutal combination.\u00a0 Staff had little patience and clients wanted to be taken care of and left alone at the same time.\u00a0 They also had a lot of\u2026well, you\u2019ve been around sick people.<\/p>\n

They are messy.<\/p>\n

And not in a \u201cleft their socks in the living room\u201d kind of messy.<\/p>\n

I am also dealing with our busiest time at the full time job, sleeping away from home most every night and normal life stresses, so while I tried pretty hard to have patience with the clients, when they staff would start to lose patience, I didn\u2019t have it in me to confront them. Instead, I would just step in and help the client back to their room, clean up the bathroom AGAIN or find things to help people calm down.\u00a0 It took a lot out of me, so by the time I got home yesterday at 3 pm (and I\u2019d been at work since 9 pm the night before) I just didn\u2019t want to do anything.<\/p>\n

The thought in my head after hearing the news headlines was \u201cI give up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Part of it is how tired I was. Part of it was my lack of a personal life. Part of it was how little energy I have. Part of it was how my emotional checkbook is empty. Part of it is how I look at the state of things and feel like the selfish, the cruel, the violent\u2026.the monsters are winning.<\/p>\n

Another mass shooting, and the exact same people who screamed that the perp in the Halloween attack in NYC needed to be shipped to Gitmo, and we needed to bar anyone from coming to the US minutes after that happened are the ones saying it’s too soon to say ANYTHING after yet another mass shooting with an AR-15.<\/p>\n

Yeah, I say all the time that a lot of life is how you look at it and back when I decided to change my mindset, I said that I was going to do that. Some days it\u2019s easy.\u00a0 Some, it\u2019s not.\u00a0 Some days I have no problem with thinking the best of people and knowing that I have people in my life who care for me.\u00a0 That the things I do to make things a little better than I left them is working.<\/p>\n

Some days, though, some days it\u2019s hard.<\/p>\n

Some days, I\u2019ll say that it\u2019s just a ride, that we can change the world, that people can eventually be their best selves.<\/p>\n

Some days, I just say in my head \u201cI give up.\u201d And there\u2019s no one close to me in my life to talk me out of it.<\/p>\n

So. Today?<\/p>\n

I give up.<\/p>\n

I’ll go to work.\u00a0 I’ll write.\u00a0 I’ll be kind to the people who cross my path.\u00a0 Anything else?<\/p>\n

I give up.\u00a0 Life may just be a ride, but I’m tired of people turning the lights out on it.<\/p>\n

I give up.<\/p>\n

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This was a rough weekend. I was at work for most of it, and we have sick clients, burned out staff, and the two are a brutal combination.\u00a0 Staff had little patience and clients wanted to be taken care of and left alone at the same time.\u00a0 They also had a lot of\u2026well, you\u2019ve been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=299"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":300,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions\/300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}