{"id":233,"date":"2017-04-28T18:18:34","date_gmt":"2017-04-28T18:18:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/?p=233"},"modified":"2017-04-28T18:18:34","modified_gmt":"2017-04-28T18:18:34","slug":"on-hypocrisy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/?p=233","title":{"rendered":"On hypocrisy"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have been thinking about hypocrisy today.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a huge thing in the news lately, it\u2019s something we use to beat down those we disagree with, and a LOT of what I was taught in behavioral psychology was about cognitive dissonance, the backflips the mind goes through when we hold two opposing ideas. One of the worst things you can call someone is a hypocrite, and I know people who gleefully point out the hypocrisy of people they don\u2019t like just to watch them squirm.<\/p>\n

But. What if we think about it in a different way?\u00a0 What if, as part of loving everyone, we assume positive intent about people and their hypocrisy is a case of them just not living up to the ideal version of themselves they want to be?<\/p>\n

We all have failings. We don\u2019t follow through 100% on every promise.\u00a0 We don\u2019t fulfill every request from the people in our lives.\u00a0 We all see ourselves as the hero of our stories, but sometimes we\u2019re the fool, sometimes we\u2019re the bystander and sometimes (hopefully rarely) we\u2019re the antagonist in someone\u2019s personal story.<\/p>\n

Instead of instantly jumping to the attach when someone\u2019s words don\u2019t match up with their actions, think to yourself about things YOU say about yourself that you are trying to live up to. I see myself as a kind person, but I\u2019ll bet you don\u2019t have to look too far to find someone who sees me as opportunistic or manipulative.\u00a0 I know a person who holds her friends to incredibly high moral standards, but has had affairs during different periods in her marriage.<\/p>\n

Hell, I once had a friend who was a living embodiment of this, and I learned early on that the only way I could stay friends with them was to realize that they had a highly inflated version of themselves that they could never live up to. I accepted them and forgave them when they would speak with massive hypocrisy.<\/p>\n

I always see the ones I love as their best selves, even if they don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

We can attack and tear them down, or, we can give them what we would want if we fall short of our internal standards. Understanding.\u00a0 I often say I don\u2019t have goals and resolutions, because they invite failure, and it is the same with these things.\u00a0 If we flip it from being mad at someone\u2019s hypocrisy to understanding it\u2019s a case of them not living up to their ideal of themselves, it\u2019s easier to forgive and understand.<\/p>\n

Much love to friends old and new, and I hope you are able to forgive those who don\u2019t live up to their perfect version of themselves.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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I have been thinking about hypocrisy today. It\u2019s been a huge thing in the news lately, it\u2019s something we use to beat down those we disagree with, and a LOT of what I was taught in behavioral psychology was about cognitive dissonance, the backflips the mind goes through when we hold two opposing ideas. One […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=233"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":234,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233\/revisions\/234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}