{"id":212,"date":"2017-03-24T17:15:00","date_gmt":"2017-03-24T17:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/?p=212"},"modified":"2017-03-24T17:15:00","modified_gmt":"2017-03-24T17:15:00","slug":"crackers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/?p=212","title":{"rendered":"Crackers"},"content":{"rendered":"

I saw a list on line of someone Top 10 crackers. I am stealing the idea and doing my own because I can. Letterman retired, so was can ALL do top 10 lists now.<\/p>\n

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  1. Triscuit – They have a bajillion flavors now, from rosemary and olive oil to Mountain Dew, but I don\u2019t care. Plain old Triscuits are awesome. When I was in 6th<\/sup> grade, we bought them for sleepover movie nights thinking we were classy, now I buy them because they are the best way to eat cheese.<\/li>\n
  2. Pretzel Thins – Pretzels you can stack shit on? Awesome.<\/li>\n
  3. Saltines \u2013 When I was a kid, my dad would crumble about 40 or so of these in his soup in order to eat it. It wasn\u2019t until my 40\u2019s that I realized you didn\u2019t have to do that. Still, if I am tired and hungry, there things are edible, take no thought, and taste just good enough that you eat them.<\/li>\n
  4. Graham \u2013 You can lie to yourself and say they are healthier than cookies. I won\u2019t call you out. They also were created as a health food, so they have always been a lie. Most of you buy them now only to make s\u2019mores, which is a damn shame.<\/li>\n
  5. Teddy Grahams \u2013 These saved my son\u2019s life numerous times on long car trips because if he had a baggie of these, he\u2019d be quiet while I listened to the radio or tried to figure out where the hell Cedar Rapid is on the damn map.<\/li>\n
  6. Goldfish \u2013 These saved MY life on long car trips so that I didn\u2019t lose my mind and start eating the dashboard out of hunger and boredom.<\/li>\n
  7. Pita chips \u2013 These are sold to us as healthy (they\u2019re BAKED! Wait, all crackers are baked\u2026) and you eat them with hummus instead of some industrialized cheese product.<\/li>\n
  8. Ritz crackers and their assorted generic knockoffs \u2013 When you want a rich golden brown color and more fat with your saltines.<\/li>\n
  9. Animal crackers \u2013 These used to be in the top 3, but somehow in the last 20 years, they make them with extra \u201cwho gives a damn\u201d so that they don\u2019t taste as good as they used to. Or, I\u2019m am not a child any more. Either way, I buy a box or so a year, and half way through, I realize why I never buy them.<\/li>\n
  10. Bagel Chips \u2013 The loudest food in history. If I am eating these, it\u2019s because I really don\u2019t want to hear a damn thing you\u2019re saying, but am too polite to wander away or to tell you to shut your pie hole.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>\"mail\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I saw a list on line of someone Top 10 crackers. I am stealing the idea and doing my own because I can. Letterman retired, so was can ALL do top 10 lists now. Triscuit – They have a bajillion flavors now, from rosemary and olive oil to Mountain Dew, but I don\u2019t care. Plain […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=212"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":213,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/212\/revisions\/213"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=212"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=212"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.solitairerose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=212"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}